My Loser-esque Decision

I've been avoiding writing a post for the last few days because I knew if I wrote in my blog, I would have to confess that I quit kickboxing. But it's inevitable that I am eventually going to want to blab in my blog again, so here it is: I quit kickboxing (that wasn't that big of an announcement though since I just said it above). My reasons for dropping out of the class aren't anything original or unique; they are pretty much the same reasons I have given in the past for wanting to quit. Clint and I tried our plan of partnering with each other in order to help improve my technique, but this past month Sensei Brandon has refused to allow us to work together. Clint's theory is that Brandon doesn't want to see me get hurt due to our vast difference in size; my theory is that Brandon recognizes how skilled Clint is with kickboxing and doesn't want me to drag him down. But either way, without being able to work with Clint in class, I simply can't seem to improve.

I feel terrible about quitting. I've been in kickboxing for eight months now, and I have really formed bonds with the other students. Again, if I could just go to class and do the work-out, I'd be thrilled and more than willing to stay enrolled until I was a grannie using a walker. But the fact that the second half of the class is devoted to techniques that highlight all of my weaknesses and makes me feel like the village idiot is what I can no longer swallow. I wish I were a more secure person who could just have fun with it without worrying about whether I look foolish or not, but I can't seem to do that.

What's worse is I didn't even tell Brandon in person that I was dropping out of the class. I knew that if I told him face-to-face, he would make it impossible for me and convince me to stay. So I had Clinton drop me from our contract on Tuesday. Since then, I've still been working out. When the kids go to their karate class, I head over to Teri's house and use her elliptical. I have to admit, even after all of those grueling kickboxing classes, the elliptical is a pretty good workout. It's not nearly as fun as my class was, but as long as I bring my i-pod, it's not too bad. Over spring break I hope to find an aerobics class of some sort at one of the local gyms, but until then, I'll just keep using the elliptical as my default. That's the one silver lining in this whole thing: the class wasn't a complete waste. Not only did kickboxing up my energy level, but I'm now at the point where I can never NOT work out. Being in the class for eight months pretty much ingrained within me a lifestyle that includes staying active in one way or another.

I have more to write about, but I'll go ahead and finish this entry so I can see Clint off to work. :)