Teaching in Jammies

Remember that post a couple of days ago where I mentioned that Clint and I were going to turn off all technology and spend time "connecting" with eachother? Well, Operation "Spend More Quality Time Together" went pretty well. Here's a transcript of our conversation:

--"So babe...how was your day?"
--"Pretty good! How was yours?"
--"Good!" (long pause) So...." (longer pause) "What do you want to talk about?"
--(shrug) "I don't know..." (long pause) "So..." (painfully awkward pause) "Are we allowed to
get on our laptops now?"
--(laughing) "Whatever woman."

So we lasted about forty seconds, but it's baby steps, you know? I'm sure for our next attempt we'll get to a full minute, but I don't want to be too optimistic.

Moses is getting so big. The bigger he gets, the more irresistible he is to me...I just love giant dogs. When we were in Lake Arrowhead on Sunday, I got to see an almost full-sized Newfoundland, which is rare...you don't see a lot of newfs in CA. This one was adorable; he was chocolate brown, which was the original color I wanted (I wanted a furry brown one so I could name him Chewbaca). He was a beast of a dog, but his feet were the cutest things of all. At that size you could really see his webbed toes, and it almost looked like he had flippers instead of feet. I don't think Moses will wind up with those giant flipper-feet, but he is going to be a huge mass of a dog when he reaches his full size. Thank goodness he's finally doing better on a leash. I took him for a nice long walk yesterday and he only drug me for about a block. After that I actually got to lead, which was cool. Except for he has this habit of lurching forward every time a car passes, and I need to break him of this soon before I wind up flat on my face, eating asphalt.

Halloween is getting closer, much to my chagrin. I hate Halloween. We are supposed to go to an overnight Halloween party tomorrow at the dojo, but I keep going back and forth as to whether I want to go. I have an adorable leopard costume that my friend from work is letting me borrow, but I always feel awkward and a bit silly when I'm wearing a costume. I feel like a kid playing "pretend" or "dress up"...a kid who is just a touch too old for such games. Costumes, in general, make me feel uneasy. So do the decorations...every part of the holiday leaves me feeling unsettled. At the same time, a lot of our really good kickboxing buddies are going, and I know it's going to be a fun crowd. If we don't go then we're probably missing out on a really great time, not to mention missing out on a chance to build some fun memories with the people in our class.

Speaking of dressing up, today was "Pajama Day" at my work. I love wearing jammies to work because they are so comfy, but the downfall is that it actually makes me feel more sluggish. Weird psychological thing, I guess. Plus, it's really hard to discipline adolescents on such days...apparently trampeding around with froggy slippers on your feet makes you less threatening of an entity.

Life is Short. Have an Affair.

This is the logo of an up-and-rising website that is putting a new twist on so-called "dating services." Clint and I saw an interesting commercial on television for a company called "Ashley Madison Agency," and he got curious as to what exactly this agency was. So we looked it up online, and it turns out that this agency is an online dating service for married people. According to the company's description, Ashley Madison is "the world's #1 married dating service specifically for ATTACHED men and women who are looking to have an extra-marital affair." It is basically a "match.com" designed specifically for those who are looking to cheat on their spouse. It cost $250 to sign up for Ashley Madison's services, but they do guarantee that you will have a satisfying extra-marital affair within three months or your money back. And the website currently has over four million members. Staggering.

That being said, what...the...hell? I guess I'm completely naive, because I had no idea that such blatantly immoral sites actually existed. Can we possibly come up with any more creative ways to desanctify marriage? But it's honestly not surprising...just look at the time we're living in. The liberals "gray area" has become like the Blob, oozing into every crevice of our value systems, slowly spreading and growing with each ounce of morality it gobbles up.

Randomness

Just some random things....

First, I just read my sister's blog regarding our day at the shooting range, and it tripped me out because you could swear that we copied off each other. We basically described our day yesterday in the same manner. So is this a twin-thing or a lack-of-creativity-thing?

Secondly, I was thinking about the other day in kickboxing, how Sensei Brandon had us do 175 crunches. Every time he looked over in my direction, I would do the crunches quickly and enthusiastically, as if there was nothing in the world that I would rather be doing than those beautiful crunches. But every time he turned in the other direction to monitor other students in the class, I would slow down and do these fake type of "barely" crunches...or I would take a quick break--and then of course continue on the moment he looked in my direction again. I don't know why I'm bothering to write about this. I keep thinking about that saying "A true judge of character is what you do when you think no one is watching." I guess by this criteria, my true character is pretty lazy.

Third random thing: I've been sneaking and reading Kristyn's blog. I only say "sneaking," because on my last e-mail to her, I told her that I would no longer frequent her blog (or something to that effect). I actually meant it when I said it, too. And the funny thing is I never actually followed Kristyn's blog before the whole explosive e-mail incident. I read a couple things here and there, but that was about it. But now I can't seem to stay away. Her posts just have a down-to-earth quality to them that keeps me wanting to read more. The reason why I bring this up is because my sister commented on Kristyn's latest entry, and in Kristyn's reply back, there was the suggestion that she reads my sister's blog. This surprised me...I had no idea she followed Shannon's blog. So then I connected a few dots and figured out that, since I am listed as my sister's sole follower on her blog, there is a possibility that Kristyn is also reading mine...or has read mine in the past. I highly doubt this, because I just think she would find my blog incredibly uninteresting and boring to read, but there is that possibility. So if Kristyn is reading my blog, I guess this is my way of confessing to her that I have been reading her's, too.

Fourth random thing: Clinton and I have been having issues lately. Nothing big, but we both admitted last night that we've been experiencing somewhat of a "disconnect" with each other lately. There are nights when I go to bed and realize that we didn't share a single part of our day with each other. We think the Internet might be a big part of the problem. We both love being online, so we can easily sit next to each other for two hours on our laptops and never once have an actual conversation (other than the occasional grunting or monosyllabic words). We are the proverbial little old couple, sitting next to each other in our rocking chairs but never truly communicating (well...minus the rocking chairs and plus a little technology). So Clinton said that when I get home from work this evening, we are going to turn everything off, turn a little music on, and do nothing but talk for at least a half hour. That is why, for the first time ever, I am typing a blog entry from work...this way I won't be tempted to type one when I get home. Of course, now I'm negating work responsibilities, but that is neither here nor there.

Last random thing: I wasn't able to sleep with my gun last night (since I left it over at Shan's), which made for a rough night of sleep. Before Clint left last night, I was complaining that I had no way to protect myself. So then he gives me a sword. A friggen sword. I was dying laughing. I can just imagine... "Excuse me Mr. Intruder Sir, would you mind stepping back four feet so I can cream you?" I finally traded the sword for a more common place knife. I hate knives though...they make me shudder (I know, this makes no sense in light of the fact that I have no problem with guns). I'm ready to have my gun back. But when am I going to have time to drive up the mountain to go get it this week? Sorry--rhetorical question.

I Killed a Bowling Pin

I'm going to make this one quick because I have to get some laundry done before bedtime. It would be really great to have something clean to wear to work tomorrow, instead of having to "spot clean" my work pants and throw them in the dryer.

I went to the shooting range today with my mom, dad, Shannon, Jeremy, and my niece Cassidi. It was so exhilarating to be able to shoot my gun...the last time I shot it was the day Adam and Sarah separated. I remember because it was on Clint's birthday, and we went to the gun range down-the-hill to celebrate (that was Clint's idea of fun). I believe that was two years ago now, but I'm really bad with tracking time because it seems to be going faster and faster. Anyway, today was such a pleasant day. The weather was beautiful--mid seventies and sunny. I've never been to an outdoor range before and I really loved it. We stayed for quite a long time, and I'm pretty sure that by the end, we had all shot to our heart's content. During our last hour there (after endless tries), I was finally able to shoot a bowling pin and a clay pigeon.

After we finished at the gun range, we were all ravenously starving, so we drove up to the village at Lake Arrowhead to eat lunch. Shannon, Jeremy, and my mom wanted to try this nice-looking Mexican restaurant, but my dad and I didn't want Mexican because we had just had it the day before. So we swayed them toward this new little cafe, and it wound up being pretty terrible. The place was messy, they were sold out on half of the items on their menu (which were already overpriced), and the server was not exactly what I would call "professional" (he was wearing a rockstar-looking shirt and his hat was on backwards). But we did have a great view of the lake, and the food, while mediocre, was still pretty satisfying (hunger makes you less picky). Still, we probably should've just gone for Mexican.

After lunch we perused the shops for a little while, went to a little bakery that had the most delicious chocolate chip/walnut cookies imaginable (and their pumpkin-spice chai was to die for...I stole a few drinks from my sis), and then headed home. I was so proud of myself, because I managed to drive home by myself from Crestline for the first time ever without feeling that panicky feeling I usually get. This time the landmarks finally stood out to me in a more friendly, familiar way, and I never had to call Clinton or my sister once to get directions. I know it's ridiculous to be proud of such a trivial, "normal" thing, but I can't explain how accomplished I felt making that drive today. Now it's officially on the "safe" list, and the fear of that drive will never again be a reason that I can't visit my sister.

The only downfall to the whole day was that I forgot to bring my gun case home...along with everything in it. Clint made me feel sort of crappy about this when I got home, but he later apologized and now seems to be over it.

My Lil' Blogger

Trinity created her own blog. She's been itching to have one of her own ever since she saw mine, so I finally sat down with her this morning and helped her to create one. It is really cute and I hope she sticks with it. She loves to write, but the only thing that I can see being discouraging to her is how long it takes her to type. Plus she's somewhat of a perfectionist and wants everything spelled correctly (she just asked me how to spell "exhausting," followed by "amphibian"). Again, I really hope she sticks with blogging...what an awesome hobby for a 4th grader. Sure beats playing video games.

This One's a Keeper

I just changed my blog template and I love this new one. I especially love the spacious area it allows for writing my posts. Normally my blogs take the form of a long narrow column streaming through the center of my page, which always seemed to be such a waste of space. Now this new template gives me a wide margin to create my blogs. The one downfall (and this is a big one) is that when I downloaded the new template, I lost all of my gadgets and all of my pictures. That was a bit heartbreaking for me, because if you actually counted the hours it took me to add all of those elements over time, it probably adds up to quite a few. Most of those pictures are saved somewhere on my old work laptop (which doesn't help matters much because I'm going to have to dig them up), so it is going to be quite an undertakimg to reinstate them all. I will probably just do one here and there, over time. On a positive note, at least I have only been blogging for less than three months...I can't imagine having lost all of my page elements if I had been at this for a year or longer.

It's only 9:40 and I feel like it's midnight. I am so tired. It was another exhausting week. It's too early to go to bed on a Friday night, so I think I'll lay on the couch and take a nap. =)

Insomnia

Day two of still appreciating my life and my work. Imagine that. The effects of that novel are lasting longer than I expected...of course, I'm still in the process of reading it.

Because of the bad economy, Clinton has been stuck working the graveyard shift for the last several months. I don't mind so much, because it pretty much feels the same as him working the day shift: he sleeps while I'm at work, and he's up and ready to go by the time I get home. Plus, both he and I are just so incredibly blessed that we still have our jobs. My school district laid off 181-and-a-half teachers at the end of the 08/09 school year (yeah, I don't get the "half" either), and I still remember that feeling of holding my breath, wondering if I was going to receive one of those dreaded pink slips. I remember all of us teachers running to our boxes the day they were issued. I remember the feeling of joy when my box was empty, followed shortly after with a sinking feeling of dismay when I realized two of my really good friends at work received a pink slip. All of us teachers wore pink that Friday to express our support for all the teachers who were laid off (my school site had eight total), and we even marched during a "Pink Rally" to try to raise public awareness of the budget crisis in California's education.

Clint's work, likewise, has also had many cuts. Luckily he doesn't work the type of job where strong attachments to fellow employees form (at the railroad they pretty much work with different people every day), but the many lay-offs have resulted in a shrinking bubble around him, and has left him with the lousy graveyard shift.

Again, I'm just grateful that he still has a job, but the problem is that I'm discovering that I can not sleep at night without Clint being home. I don't have an independent bone in my body and I am SO paranoid. Every little noise makes me jump...the fridge can't even come on without me going into defense mode. I've tried everything to sleep better. I sleep with a 9 mm every night, and that definitely helps. I don't keep it under my pillow, because it creates a hard uncomfortable lump, and plus I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of an explosive device right under my head. So I keep it under Clint's pillow, next to me, with the strap of the holster left unbuttoned for quick access. But the problem is that the kids sleep on the opposite end of the house, and I'm constantly worried about them. I mean, that's great that I'm armed, but what if some predator broke into my house and went to their side of the house? So I've tried moving the kids into my room (yes, I realize I'm sucking them into my unhealthy paranoia), but let's face it--it's impossible to get even ten minutes of sleep with a nine-year-old and a five-year-old. That strategy only lasted a few days. Next I tried sleeping with my giant dog. This actually works pretty well except for Moses is still technically a puppy, so by 2 or 3 a.m. he has to go potty. And his way of letting me know is by slapping his huge paw on my bed over and over again and growling (a cute frustrated growl, not a mean growl). It just doesn't make for a very restful night. I could use sleeping pills, but I won't for two reasons: 1. I don't like to take anything that my body risks becoming dependent on, and 2. I refuse to knock myself out when I am soley responsible for the kids.

So I don't know what to do. I'm hoping Moses' bladder grows bigger soon so he can stay in the house longer, but I have a feeling that even when he can sleep in the house full-time, I will still find reasons to be paranoid.