I tend to avoid my blog when I'm feeling depressed. Well, "depressed" is probably too strong of a word for what I've been feeling, but it's just been a gloomy sort of week. On Monday I found out one of my seventh graders from last year was diagnosed with cancer and is now a permanent resident of Loma Linda's Children's Hospital. She's such a sweet girl, and so young. It just breaks my heart.
On Tuesday I found out that Matt and Alana are moving to Northern California. I can't even begin to say how much this tears me up. I'm happy that both of them get to start this new adventure together, and especially thrilled that Matt found such a good job. But Alana is the closest friend I have, and selfish me is having a difficult time coping with the idea of losing her as a regular part of my life. Not to mention Matt, who has always felt like a brother to me. I actually wrote an entire blog entry about this, but it's just too pitiful to post, so I'll leave it unpublished.
On Wednesday Clint and I spent most of the day arguing with each other. Although it wasn't really an argument; it was him reacting toward something I did that I shouldn't have (pretty typical for me), and me apologizing and waiting for him to calm down. The one good thing that came out of it is we pretty much resolved everything over text messaging, so by the time we both got home from work, the situation had just about blown over. But it still made for an emotional, distracting day.
Last night we went over to Becky's house for pizza. It was such an awesome visit. We spent three hours doing nothing but talking and sharing. But I came home from Becky's house feeling a little bittersweet, just because I knew that this was one of our last times together as a group. Last night I tried to go to bed right after 10:00, but insomnia reared its ugly head and I ended up staying awake past 4:00 a.m. I had to get up at 6:00 for work, so I was dragging by this afternoon. Today was a minimum day because we had to do report cards, so the last bell rang at 1:02 p.m., and it took me two hours to input all of my grades, including citizenship and comments. I posted my grades at 3:00 and was just getting ready to leave when the counseling department called, asking for an ETA on my grades. I told them that I had posted them ten minutes ago. They informed me that they weren't showing, and after a few minutes, we realized the mistake. I had posted them under "semester 1" when I was supposed to post them under "quarter 1." A simple, sleep-deprived mistake. It seemed like a simple fix to me, but when I switched my gradebook back to "quarter 1", all of my comments and citizenship grades disappeared. Two hours of work down the drain. I nearly cried when I realized I was going to have to re-do them all. I ended up taking them home, and thankfully, with Clint's help, it only took me about 45 minutes to re-do them.
After the whole report card fiasco, Clint's mom, sister, and brother-in-law came over for dinner. I didn't know anyone was coming over until last night, and it was slightly amusing because we're in the process of putting new flooring in our house, so our house is presently quite torn apart. I'm not sure why we couldn't eat dinner in a more put-together location, but if no one else minds little Lucas playing in rooms with hammers and such, who am I to complain.
Okay, so I'll try to be more upbeat in my next post.
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Maybe it's me, but this didn't feel terribly gloomy. Then again, I complain all the time, so maybe I'm desensitized to gloom. I think it's natural to be upset about your friend moving away. It's hard to lose people you see all the time, even if you'll still talk and see them some of the time.
ReplyDeleteAnd, last week was really hard for Matt and me, too. We had some pretty challenging issues and though it took a while, we got through it. I'm glad y'all did too. Now, I have to grade the other 20 papers for my students, by Monday at 1pm. Definitely not going to happen, which puts me so far behind its not funny, so I feel your grading pain! At a rate of 30 minutes per paper, it's going to take me more than 10 hours to grade them!
Feel better. :)
Desensitized to gloom...love it! THAT should be the title of your next blog.
ReplyDeleteSo I take it that "challenging" issues involve more than a messy house? At any rate, I'm glad that you and Matt were able to work through everything last week.
Good luck on all those papers! I feel for you!