Friday, February 4, 2011

MyQuil

On Monday, students were required to make an advertisement incorporating ten spelling words:  remedy, venture, evidence, specimen, session, effect, invest, destiny, delicate, and pressure.  Here is the ad that one of my students, Mitchell, turned in: 

Depression hurts.  Don't let it affect you.
 
MyQuil.  Helps cure depression.

You should try MyQuil because it's the perfect remedy.  You'll be so unsick you can venture out all day.  Doctors have evidence that it works (maybe).  We've tried it out on many specimens.  If you don't believe us, go to one of our informational sessions.  You won't get every side-effect (yes you will).  So you should invest in MyQuil to help you.  It's your destiny to take this medicine.  But be careful with this very delicate bottle.

*Side effects may include bleeding, crying, depression, suicide, diarrhea, internal bleeding, giving into peer pressure, explosive diarrhea, and pooping uncontrollably.

I'm not sure how an anti-depressant would lead to succumbing to peer-pressure or pooping uncontrollably, but let's just roll with it  And is it just me, or did Mitchell elude to diarrhea in his list of side-effects THREE times?  Seventh graders.  *Sigh*
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5 comments:

  1. KristynFebruary 5, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    Hilarious! I particularly like the use of the word "unsick" and the fact that one of the side-effects of this anti-depressant is that it causes suicide (probably the result of giving into peer pressure). :P

    From the minds of 7th grade boys! LOL

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  2. ShannonFebruary 5, 2011 at 7:09 PM

    Hehe, LOVE it! This really made me laugh!
    Kristyn, would you believe that "suicide" is actually one of the stated risks of antidepressants? It doesn't make much sense, but the theory is that many depressed individuals are SO severely depressed that they would act out on their suicidal ideations except they are TOO depressed to find the motivation...once they start taking the antidepressant, their depression eases just enough for them to obtain the motivation to actually commit the act...
    Of course this isn't typical, but it happens just enough for "suicide" to be under the "risk" section of the consent form for the medication.
    Egh!!! Sorry! I kinda got sidetracked from this very funny post, and you can just call me joy killer now.

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  3. JodiFebruary 5, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    Yeah Kristyn, the word "unsick" made me chuckle a little too.

    Great Shan, your above comment was such a joy killer that now I'm going to have to take anti-depressants to perk up, and then ultimately off myself... ;-)

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  4. KristynFebruary 5, 2011 at 8:16 PM

    Well count me out on the anti-depressant count! The fact that anti-depressants stimulate people just enough to commit suicide is too depressing for me!

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  5. FYFebruary 6, 2011 at 11:48 PM

    Egh, sorry guys! Will try not to be such a downer next time. :)

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